Him
by AshTMI17
Summary: When HE comes back into her life, how will Emma react? Can she forgive? Should she forget? A one-shot. AU/OOC.


**So this is an AU one-shot. OOC and AU. I've never written OUAT fanfics and I've never written a one-shot. Please review and let me know what you think. I own nothing other than the plot, despite my dreams of owning the ****deliciousness that is Killian Jones. **

Emma Nolan was exhausted. Between packing all her belongings and driving back and forth between her childhood home in Storybrooke, Maine, and her new home in Boston, it had been a long day. But she was excited and that adrenaline had kept her going. She and her best friends, Ruby and Mary Margaret, were moving to Boston to attend Boston University. And Emma couldn't have been more excited. Today was the first day of the rest of her life. And she was so lucky. She, Ruby and Mary Margaret were moving into an apartment across the hall from her brother David and their friend Graham, who were going into their second year at BU. Finally the gang would all be together again. _Well, minus one_, Emma thought before quickly pushing the idea out of her mind. She refused to let _his_ actions hurt her anymore – she needed to be happy again. So, as she ran up the three flights of stairs to her new city apartment, she didn't think about _him _at all (at least, that's what she told herself – in reality _he_ pervaded her every thought). When she opened her apartment's door, she found Ruby and Mary Margaret unpacking in the kitchen, singing Disney songs. She didn't want to disturb them, so she went to David's apartment.

"Knock knock, I'm coming in, you better be dressed!" she called through the door before entering her brother's apartment. David's apartment was a mirror image of hers, with three bedrooms and two bathrooms. He had told her he and Graham were going to find a third roommate this year to lower their costs, but hadn't yet.

"Emma, I thought you were driving back tomorrow morning!" David came out of his bedroom and he looked a bit nervous.

"I decided to come back tonight. I wanted to start unpacking. Plus, mom had a girls night planned and Henry was at a sleepover, so I came back. Everything okay?" Before David could answer, there was a crashing sound coming from a bedroom.

"I thought Graham was out of town until tomorrow?" Emma asked, curious.

"He is, that's the new roommate we found. Anyhow, lets go to your apartment and get to unpacking!" David nearly dragged Emma out of his apartment and into her own. _Weird_, Emma thought. _Whatever_. She was too tired to actually care what that was about.

Mary Margaret came barreling down the hall and jumped into David's arms, so Emma backed away to avoid being stomped on during their loving reunification. _God, you'd think they didn't just see each other yesterday. Disgusting. And yet, it must be nice to have arms to jump into. I miss it._ Emma didn't like where that train of thought was heading, so she left her brother and his girlfriend in the living room. She didn't know that they noticed the sadness in her eyes as she left. Emma went to help Ruby in her bedroom. It looked like her closet exploded across the room.

"Need help, Rubes?" she asked, noticing the groans and growls coming from the closet, along with the Irish accented curse words being mumbled.

"Em, how am I supposed to fit all my clothes in this tiny closet? Seriously, it's impossible!" Ruby was having a tiny freak out because she was going from a huge walk in closet to a small, city closet

"It's okay Rubes, you can have some of my closet space. I don't have that many clothes," Emma offered helpfully. Ruby gave her a big hug and the two continued unpacking well into the night; eventually they were joined by Mary Margaret when David went home. Emma fell into her unmade bed, still wearing her jeans and tank top, around three am.

Emma woke up because of the bright light streaming through her window. _Okay, I need curtains ASAP_, she thought as she looked at the clock – 8:50 am. Groaning, she went into the bathroom she shared with Mary Margaret, brushed her teeth and hair, and went about looking for her friends. She didn't bother changing out of the clothes she had been wearing. They were nowhere to be found, so she figured they were at David's. Bounding across the hall, she entered her brother's apartment without knocking. She saw her friends sitting on the large wrap around sofa, watching the TV.

"Hey, thanks for inviting me to join your party guys! What are you all doing up at 9 am?" Emma yelled, startling the group.

Ruby's eyes got wide. "Emma, what, what are you doing here?" She was panicked, which never happened. Ruby was always the definition of chill, except when it came to her beloved clothes and accessories.

"I can't join my best friends watching TV on a Saturday morning? Just because my brother and Mary Margaret and you and Graham are all paired off doesn't mean I can't willingly be a fifth wheel!" She just stood there, worrying about what was going on with her friends and forcing a smile onto her face. Suddenly, a figure started walking down the hall.

"Ruby, where is my guitar? Did I leave it in your car?" An accented voice echoed from down the hall and Emma felt her heart stop beating. _Him_. _He_ was here. Her eyes widened, terrified. _No, it wasn't possible. _He _disappeared. And yet, here he is. Crap._ Emma was shaking and she was frozen in place as the shadow moved down the hallway. All of her friends were staring at her and David looked like he was about to get up and run to her.

A man emerged from the hall after what felt like forever. With messy black hair, bright blue eyes, and a perfect five o'clock shadow, Killian Jones looked as good as ever. He wore jeans that hung low on his waist and fit him tightly in all the right places. And that's it. His chest was bare, exposing the light layer of hair that graced his chest all the way to below the waist band of his jeans. His muscles rippled through his tan body. They were the kind of muscles one got from working, not working out. And suddenly Emma remembered.

Emma remembered how it felt when her hands slid across his body. She remembered running her nails down his back, leaving marks. She remembered how soft his lips felt on hers. She remembered how he would carry her to the bed and gaze lovingly in her eyes as he showed her how much he cared. And she remembered how they could talk for hours, about anything and nothing, and never tire of each other. She remembered how he nicknamed her Swan before they even started dating because he promised her she would turn into a beautiful, elegant swan even if she felt like an ugly duckling at fourteen years old. She remembered _him_. After four months of trying to forget, she remembered.

"Swan!" The accented voice seemed surprised, and much closer than before. _He can't call me Swan anymore, he lost that right. _Emma snapped out of her mind.

"Killian," she said blandly. Now that the initial shock was over, her anger was taking over. She turned back to her friends and her brother.

"_He_ is your new roommate. You knew. You hid this from me!" Her voice broke, but she was determined to be angry, not hurt. Her brother and her best friends had lied to her. About _him_. After everything that happened.

David got up and walked over to Emma, who was still shaking. She couldn't help but notice that Killian was staring at her, but she couldn't even deal with that right then. She was too busy being angry. "Listen, Em. We were gonna tell you today…" David started but Emma interrupted.

"How long have you known?" she screamed.

"Since a week after the funeral," David replied, hanging his head. Mary Margaret joined him, grabbing his hand to support him. Ruby and Graham looked like they wanted to be anywhere else.

"You've known for TWO MONTHS? He abandoned me, David. He made me fall in love with him and then he just disappeared after graduation. And he left you, his supposed best friend. And his grandmother and sister," she said, glancing at Ruby, whose eyes were glistening with tears. "He didn't even come back when Dad died. How could you do this? How could you not tell me? You're my brother and my best friends. How could no one tell me?" She finally broke down, falling to the ground and wrapping her arms around herself.

When Mary Margaret reached out to hug her, Emma pulled away roughly.

"Don't touch me," she said through gritted teeth. "None of you. I'm leaving." She didn't notice that Killian had moved closer to her as David and Mary Margaret backed off.

"Swan…" he mumbled. With that, Emma stood up, wiping the tears away.

"No, don't. I'm out of here, I can't look at any of you right now!" With that, she stormed into the hallway and ran back to her apartment. She packed an overnight bag and left without looking back. When she got to her beat up, yellow VW bug, David was waiting.

"Just tell me where you're going, Em. So I don't worry. I'll leave you alone," he said quietly.

"Home," is all she said before she pushed past him, got into the car, and sped off.

When she got home, her mom was in her pajamas watching the news. It was still early, around 11 am. Her mom jumped up from the couch when she took in her daughter's appearance. Emma's red rimmed eyes, smeared makeup, and disheveled hair startled her mother.

"Sweetheart, what happened?" she asked gently. Emma flung herself into her mom's arms and began to sob. After what felt like hours, Ruth Nolan led her only daughter to the couch to talk. Ruth was a quiet but strong woman. In the past few months, she had lost her husband and watched her oldest son and only daughter leave for school. She was suddenly a single parent, but she was always there for her children, no matter what.

"Mom, he… he… he's back. In Boston. He's there. Living with David. He just… showed up," Emma said through her tears. Ruth immediately knew who she was talking about.

"What? He's going to BU with you guys?" she questioned.

"Yeah, and living with David and Graham. And the worst part is that they all knew. They've known for months, and no one told me!" Ruth hugged her daughter closer.

"It's okay baby girl. Why don't you go take a shower and maybe go back to sleep for a few hours. When you get up, we'll have lunch and talk. Henry should be home by then, he'll be happy to see his favorite sister. It will all be okay, I promise." Emma nodded and went to her bedroom. After a long, hot shower, she climbed into some spare sweats that she kept at home and crawled into her bed. Despite everything, the memories surrounded her, flooding her brain. She remembered how he climbed through her window just to say goodnight every night. How he told her he loved her right there after their first fight. How she cried for days in her bed when he disappeared the day after graduation. How she sat on her window seat, holding a picture of them with her father, wishing he would climb through her window and comfort her as she mourned her loss. Eventually, she fell into an uneasy slumber, shedding silent tears and hating herself for crying over _him_ again.

She awoke to hushed voices. She didn't know how long she had slept, but she felt a bit better. After splashing her face with water and brushing her hair, Emma decided to brave seeing her mom and brother. But as she opened the door, the voices became clearer and she stopped in her tracks.

"Mrs. Nolan, please I need to see her. I need to talk to her. _Please_." Was that… Killian? "I promise, just a few minutes!" he continued in his deep, melodic Irish voice.

"I don't know, I don't think she wants to see you," Ruth replied. Before she continued, a high pitched, young voice interrupted.

"Killy! Killy, you're here, you're really here!" _Crap, _Emma thought, _Henry saw him. Now he's stuck here._

"Aye, lad I am. I need to talk to your sister, do you know where she is?" Before Henry could drag him to her room, which would be too much for her fragile emotions to take, Emma walked down the hallway and into the living room. Henry noticed her first.

"Emma, look. Killy's here! Just like you wanted!" Henry was yelling, clearly excited and clinging to Killian.

"Come on Henry, let's go make lunch and let Killian and Emma talk," Ruth said as she pried Henry off of the teenage boy he was attached to.

"Thanks, Mrs. Nolan," Killian replied. She placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder and squeezed. Smiling at Emma, Ruth and Henry left the room and went to the back of the house where the kitchen was.

"Emma," Killian whispered. _Well, at least he gave up on the pet name_, Emma thought. He sat down on the sofa, so Emma sat on the recliner across from him, trying to avoid his gaze.

"Well, you wanted to talk. So talk," Emma mumbled. After a minute of silence, she couldn't contain it. "Why?" she asked him.

Killian sighed and scratched the back of his ear. _His tell, he only does that when he's nervous_, Emma remembered. "Emma, I'm so sorry. I was a complete idiot. I got scared. I didn't know what to do when we graduated high school. I was worried about losing everything when I didn't get into Boston U with you. I was so scared to lose you. When Liam offered to take me with him, I went. I needed my brother to help me figure things out."

Interrupting him, Emma said, "Well, we needed you here. What about Granny? And Ruby? She was devastated when both of her brothers abandoned her! Liam joined the Navy and had to go to training, she got that. What was your excuse for moving with him? And what about me? You were so scared of losing me that you just up and left. No explanation, no goodbye. Just disappeared. My DAD died, Killian. He had a heart attack. Remember when your parents died? Me and David were there for you and Liam and Ruby every day for months. And where were you when I needed you? Gone." Tears were streaming again, and she hated herself for it.

"I was here…" he mumbled.

"What?!" Emma yelled, shocked.

"I was at the funeral. I flew in from Washington as soon as I heard from Ruby. I heard the amazing speech you gave. I was moved to tears, love. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around you and comfort you, but I still didn't know what I was going to do and I didn't want to appear and then leave you again. I couldn't do that to you. Not twice. I needed to figure things out. And then, when I got back to Washington, I found out I got into BU off the waitlist. And I knew I had to come and make it up to you. So I swallowed my pride and called David for help. He agreed." He was staring at his feet while he talked. Emma sat in silence. She couldn't believe it. _He was there. He still cared._ Her mind was reeling. Suddenly she felt like she was going to throw up.

"Listen, I just wanted to explain. I needed to tell you that I loved you. I _love_ you. And I wanted to make it better. But I get it. I promise I won't bother you anymore when we get back to Boston. But please forgive the guys. I made them promise me. And David actually punched me when we met up. He said it was for you. Please, be made at me. Hate me. But forgive them." He was pleading, and Emma just sat there, unable to speak. Finally, she nodded.

"Listen, I was wondering if I could stay here tonight. It's just that the bus took like four hours to get here with all of the stops and doesn't come back through until tomorrow morning. I went home, but Granny is out of town and I can't find my key. I won't bother you, just sleep and catch the bus back to Boston in the morning," he asked, with hope in his voice.

"Yeah, sure," she replied, nodding absently. She was still trying to process everything he had told her.

Luckily, Henry and Ruth kept Killian occupied for the rest of the day, as Emma stood by, observing. She watched how at ease he was with her family. How he treated Henry like his own baby brother. How he helped her mom with dinner and doing the dishes. And she was transported back to the good times. The great times. Her heart swelled as she slipped away and into her bedroom, needing a break from the emotion that she was feeling.

She heard a knock on her door and looked up to see Henry standing in the doorway. "Hey, Ems, can I come in?" he asked with his little six year old smile. She grinned back and waved him in, patting the bed for him to sit next to her.

"I'm so happy tonight Emma. I missed Killy. And I know you did too. You have to forgive him. He makes you happy. You haven't been really happy since he left. Even before Daddy was gone, you were sad. You need to be happy. We all do. And Killy helps with that," Henry said, holding Emma's hand.

"Did he tell you to say that?" she asked him. He shook his head quickly. "Listen Henry, I'm going to try to forgive him, but it's hard. He really hurt me."

"I know, Em. But don't you always tell me to forgive. You should follow your own advice. You deserve it, and he deserves another chance." Another knock on the frame of her door made both of them look up. Killian was standing in the doorway, smiling shyly.

"Hey lad, your mum said lights out for you! She's waiting to read you a story!" he exclaimed. Henry kissed Emma's cheek and ran towards his room. Killian turned to Emma. "Your mum said goodnight, she didn't want to bother you. I'm just here because your mum said that you might know where some clothes are for me to sleep in…" he trailed off, scratching behind his ear again. _Him being so damn adorable is NOT helping! _Emma thought, frustrated. All she wanted to do was reach out for him and allow him to hold her. But she wouldn't allow it. Instead, she climbed off her bed and walked into her large closet.

She pointed to a big box on the shelf. "That's your stuff. I, um, didn't know what to do with it," she told him quietly. He came into the closet next to her and their hands grazed. Emma tried to ignore the spark that she felt.

"Thanks," he said as he took the box down and opened it, pulling out some sweatpants. He left without another word, presumably to sleep in David's bedroom.

Emma crawled back into bed and watched television for a few hours, before trying to sleep. All she could think about was Killian being next door. And how she loved to curl up next to him as he ran his hands through her hair, knowing it made her relax. Before she knew what she was doing, Emma was getting out of her bed and sneaking into David's room. Killian was sitting up in bed, reading. When he saw her standing in the doorway, his face twisted in confusion.

"Can I come in?" she asked. He nodded silently and closed the book, tossing it onto the nightstand. Emma sat on the edge of David's bed, nervous and fidgeting.

"What's up?" Killian asked. She took a deep breath and met his bright blue gaze.

"Um, I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to try to move past this. I get it. I want to forgive you, I want to be your friend again." His face fell.

"Okay. I'd like that," he whispered. Something flashed across his face but before Emma could identify it, it was gone and he had a smirk in place. "So, love, do you want to watch a movie before bed?"

"Sure sounds good. I know the perfect one." Emma ran back to her room and grabbed her favorite DVD. When she got back to David's room, she put it in the DVD player without telling Killian what movie it was.

"What are we watching, love?" he asked as she settled next to him, carefully leaving a gap between their bodies.

"You'll see," she said, smirking at him. When the movie started, Emma could feel Killian laughing.

"I should have known," he said between laughs. "I know how much you love Pitch Perfect!" His smile made Emma smile and before she knew it they were both laughing. "Remember the first time you made me watch it when it came out on DVD? You sang along and I secretly recorded it. Ruby thought it was hysterical later!" Emma smiled even wider, remembering.

"You know you loved it! Now shush and watch the movie," Emma responded. She settled in and before she knew it she was leaning into Killian. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her even closer and sighing in contentment. They ended up chatting, talking about anything and everything, through the movie. Emma felt at peace for the first time in so long.

Somewhere along the way, they must have fallen asleep. When Emma woke up the next morning, she was wrapped in something warm and heavy. The sun was shining. As she opened her eyes, she realized that she and Killian were wrapped up in each other. His arms were around her and her head was on his chest. As she stirred, she noticed he was waking up too. He smiled down at her, looking like he was in complete bliss. She couldn't say that she wasn't feeling it too.

"God, I missed you Swan," he whispered to her, holding her tighter. Instead of responding, Emma pressed her lips to his. She wasn't thinking, she was just acting in the moment. It all felt so right. For the first time in four months, she felt whole. She felt like she could cope with her dad's death. She could deal with going to college and living in the big city. She could tackle anything. She deepened the kiss, running her tongue along his lips. He opened his mouth and their tongues collided in passion. His arms were on her hips, and hers were running through his hair. All the sudden, the bedroom door opened.

"What the hell?!" David screamed, seeing the sight before him. "I'm up all night comforting a devastated Mary Margaret and Ruby. Meanwhile you two are here, defiling my bed!?" Emma sat up, feeling the blush creep up her neck.

"You told him I came home," she said to him, trying and failing to have attitude. She untangled herself from Killian and ran to her brother, hugging him tightly. "Thank you," she whispered in his ear. His hugged her back, his hand was cradling her head as he laughed. "You deserved it," he replied. They broke apart.

"Well, you two get dressed. Mom's making pancakes. Mary Margaret, Ruby, Graham, and Henry are downstairs. And man are they going to loveeee this story!" He closed the door behind him.

Killian came up behind Emma and wrapped his arm around her. He kissed her neck, gently. "So, what happens now?" he asked, uncertain. She turned in his arms, smiling.

"Well, I guess we go downstairs and eat pancakes. And face the never ending torment of our friends," she giggled. He smiled brightly, took her hand, and dragged her to the kitchen. As they walked in, she saw the smiling faces of her friends. When they saw that Killian and Emma were holding hands, they all rushed the couple for a group hug. Even Ruth and Henry joined in.

Emma knew then that everything was going to be okay. She and Killian were going to move past it, she had amazing friends, a good family, and a chance to live her life as she always imagined. She felt whole, finally. And it was because of _him_.

The end.

**If you all like it, I may write an epilogue. Let me know! **


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